News Flash: NO ONE WINS!!

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Ah, the old game of tit for tat. This game has been playing couples against each other as long as we all can remember. ” He doesn’t do that right!” “She always complaining.” “I do everything around here!” “You are never here or available.” Does this sound like a typical conversation in your house? Then you are now full swing in the game called  TIT-FOR-TAT! The never-ending battle of the egotistical sexes.

Oh yes my dear you read that one right. I did not say the male ego or the female ego, I said the egotistical sexes. That includes both, because both are eagerly pointing the finger at the other. So how does one win at this game? The answer is you don’t. The ultimate reward or prize of this game is the “D” word and that in the end and of itself is no prize to be won. However, you can beat this game and come out on top together, but how do you do this? Well it’s simple, you change the rules. Yup once you both change the way the game is played you can rewrite the whole outcome. Simply change” He and She’ and “You and I” to WE and US and OURS and TOGETHER.

Four words swapped out for 4 replaceable ones brings a whole new element to the game. Instead of being on opposing teams or opponents in this marriage you are ow teammates and partners. This is an effective way to bridge the gap from individuals to a couple, from you and I to a family.

Try it next time you engage in a disappointment with your spouse. Instead of saying ” You don’t spend enough time with me.” say instead ” We both really need to spend some time together. We should talk and see if we can find things that interest both of us to do.” Right there you were positive and optimistic, not negative or pessimistic. There wasn’t an accusatory tone or anything of that nature.

Look I may not know everything but I do know that nobody likes to be attacked or judged. Try this method of communication out and see what it does for your relationship/marriage. Let me know if you tried it and if it worked for you. You would be amazed when you open your mind up to different things and you actually try it how much your life can change for the better by just trying.

Til next time…

~Homegirl

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