Today has been one of my anxiety ridden, depression filled gloomy days. First, I woke up late and missed a much needed early rising. Then, I heard my second alarm but I was awake only long enough to reach over and slap that sucker off!
I was finally awoken at 10:05am by my daughter, a whole 5 hours past my alarm! You know what that meant? It meant I had slept my whole morning away. It was soon to be lunch and I hadn’t even showered or brushed my teeth. I’m ashamed to admit it but when I get sick, like I am now, my whole world stops. I get off of any resemblance I had of a routine and I’m right back to square one. I would complain to my friends, but the really healthy ones think I’m overreacting, and the ones who are sick feel my pain. We all know how that goes, misery loves company, so I refrain from depending on them to lift my spirits. I’m definitely not trying to be miserable. I need out of this funk but how?
You know what I feel like? I feel like I’m trapped in one of those huge mazes. You know like the ones full of all that shrubbery. The ones where others can see the way out and it looks so easy, but you’re stuck inside of it and it’s daunting and overwhelming. It seems like at every turn there’s another dead end wall of shrubs. So, I turn around and try another way and it goes on for a little while, only to stumble on another dead end. That has been my life since 2013. A maze of shrubs with no end in site. That’s at least how I try to explain it to my healthy friends who don’t get it.
You know, I don’t particularly care for days like today, when I’m reminded of my maze feelings. Even though today is drawing to a close, I still have a sour taste in my mouth. The sourness of another day gone by half lived and half slept away. I’ve got to find the end to this maze….
Til Next Time…